I could write it down, and spread it all around

coming back from a vacation always ends up in one of two ways. 1) it feels great to be back, ready to get back in the swing of things and see all the people i’ve missed. 2) why wasn’t that vacation longer.

currently feeling number 2. i’m feeling down and i’m hoping starting internship will change that. my house is a complete shithole and i don’t like being here anymore. i lock myself in my room and sit on my computer because no one is ever here, the house is filthy, and there’s nothing else to do. idk i just feel kind of trapped right now. i don’t feel comfortable or settled in any place i go. honeslty, i think i feel most comfortable in new hampshire. Rob has really good friends and i like them all a lot. i feel like i’m 180 degrees from where i was at the end of last year. i’m not sure what that means for me. i’m just going with the flow for now but i’m really waiting for something to happen. idk if that sounds dumb but right now, christmas is the only thing im looking forward to until the end of school. and then when school does end…. i have no idea what will happen. and it’s pretty scary.

god, i just feel like everyone is always unhappy. which is why i think that when someone is happy nothing else should matter. people shouldn’t care what makes someone happy, they should just be happy that that person is happy.